Where are you?
In a non slutty way
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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