we're blogging at a bar
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
