Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
