Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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