East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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