So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
