i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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