can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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