She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
