Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
