My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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