why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
