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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
