So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
