I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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