i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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