Can i not drive my cunt home
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
you never un-have a 4some
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
