Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
