Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
