what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
