WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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