how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
try to milk me bitch
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
