physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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