No, you can still breathe under the balls.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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