At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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