Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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