That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I AM VODKA MAN
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
