Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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