Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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