goodnight i made you a song goodbye
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
