Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
