im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
