but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
