I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Randomize
