And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
