You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
okay pat passed out under dana's car
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
