O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
