Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
