the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
