Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
