We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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