I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
