shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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