walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
