You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
