I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
