Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
where are you?
Hypothermia
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
