butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
