Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
