its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
