Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
