I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
