I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
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