I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
